Down

have you all ever felt really desperate in letting out your anger when you don't get what you want? yet you have nothing to vent on and don't know where to vent it on? in the end you just sit there and pull your hair, kick around, clench or fist or whatever things you can think of? babies does.. when nobody can understand what the fuck he's saying..

we adults seldom do that.. because we have already have the ability to say out our displease.. but not for me today.. look at my posting time.. it's friday.. and it's 7.30pm.. where am i supposed to be at today? those who know me too well will know.. and they probably know why i feel so fucked up..

imagine this.. i fucking hate today.. we were done with everything at around 4pm+.. yet i don't know what the fuck jianyi wants.. dragged the standby bed till 4.45pm.. still not happy.. he is BOS today and need to mount the guards.. so he set the next timing at 6.15pm.. AFTER he mount the guards.. imagine how the fuck i feel? supposingly able to make it for training.. till i totally unable to make it..

what's worse.. i dashed out to the gate.. dad came to fetch me.. i say i want to go training.. but everywhere now is jammed.. THANKS TO THE FUCKING CAR THAT BREAKS DOWN ON THE TPE!!! FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU!!!!

that's what i meant.. i so fucking feel like spamming all sorts of vulgarities inside my dad car.. scold the fucking driver.. scold jianyi.. but i simply can't.. it's not my dad's fault that i book out late.. he don't need to hear my whining..

so what i did? i clenched my fist hard.. yet nothing to punch on.. my leg felt like kicking someone on the head and KO him on the spot.. but i'm stucked in a small car..

my chest felt so pressured.. i felt damn fucked up.. i felt as if i'm a helpless baby.......